


His Own Ganymedes

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s02e19 One False Step, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, mention of Daniel Jackson/Sha'uri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-27
Updated: 2012-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:04:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Immortality’s over-rated. Why live forever when those you love die?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Own Ganymedes

Night doesn’t so much fall on PJ2-445 as land with a resounding thud.  
  
Carter and Fraiser have hightailed it back through the Gate with the latest alien to fall victim to ... whatever it is the bald, painted, naked alien guys are falling victim to, leaving Tea’c to kel-no-reem his way through the night watches that Daniel and I are sharing.  
  
I tell Daniel, order him, if you will, to get some sleep, when I relieve him after first watch. I like him to take first watch, that way I can pack off him to bed and know he’ll get a few hours of uninterrupted rest. The guy has no sense of self-preservation. Unless you count shooting up a bucket full of infant Goa’uld. Which I don’t. Because that protects us all, not just him.  
  
Anyway, he shifts on the log that passes for a seat and says he’s not tired and can he stay by the fire because it’s kind of cold and since he’s awake anyway he might as well write up some field notes. Persistent little bastard, Daniel. So I sigh, and put on my best “I shouldn’t really do this but” face, thus giving the false impression that I’m in charge around here, and instantly cave like a caving thing.  
  
I can afford to be magnanimous. There is no threat to us here. Teal’c is sitting sentinel six feet away, my reliable-as-they-come back-up in all things. The aliens are getting sicker by the minute and tending to each other and I’m a selfish asshole who likes to sit beside Daniel and just ... be. I poke at the campfire with a long stick, watch Daniel watching the fire and tapping his pencil on his knee. I like the way the firelight reflects in his glasses. It gives him a kind of other-worldly air. Which is, you know, appropriate, since this is another world. He’s absorbed in his thoughts, shivering slightly in the night air but doesn’t seem to notice. He stops tapping the pencil, shuffles until he gets more comfortable and tilts the journal that’s lodging on his knees toward the light from the fire before he begins to scribble in that looping script of his. He mouths the words silently as he writes, which puts me in mind of a six-year-old learning his letters. I’m damn sure he isn’t aware he does it, and I’m not going to tell him. Carter thinks it’s cute. Daniel would die if he knew that. Think I might just store that up for use in future snippy exchanges. Just in case I need to put him in his place when he gets the better of me. Which he usually does.  
  
“You’ll strain your eyes trying to write by this light,” I say, with just the right amount of gruffness and nary a hint of concern.  
  
“It’s okay. I’m used to it. The light from kerosene lamps on digs isn’t much better. And, uh, my eyesight is shot already. It’s just a question of degree.”  
  
He has this knack of sounding utterly disinterested when he’s talking to you while his mind is tackling a zillion other things at the same time.  
  
“Yes. Well. Just make sure you eat extra carrots when we get home.” I stir the fire with some ferocity, causing the flames to shoot higher and the burning sticks to spit and crackle. It gives me something to think about rather than the warmth of Daniel’s shoulder where it’s touching mine and the peace I find in sharing the dark hours with him.

  
I sit entranced by the lick and play of the orange-blue flames. Minutes pass and I realize Daniel is transfixed, too. His breathing is steady and he’s huffing out clouds of condensed breath into the alien night. Actually, it doesn’t feel all that alien. That might be because Daniel’s sitting beside me, and wherever he happens to be is the nearest thing I have to home, since the woman who embodied the word finally gave up on us.  
  
“Sha’uri used to sit for hours watching the night fires on Abydos,” he says. And I know that his heart and thoughts are on another alien world. I think, maybe, his thoughts are there a whole hell of a lot.  
  
I don’t say anything. Just rest my arms on my knees, watch the fire and wait for Daniel to tell me more. If he wants to.  
  
“She saw shapes in the flames all the time. She taught me the names of animals and birds that she said were to be found in the dancing streams of fire.” He smiles a small, achingly sad smile.  
  
Fuck. I wish he wouldn’t let me see these glimpses of him. At moments like this, he’s still the guy who haunted the SGC halls because they didn’t know what to do with him.   
  
I am very much afraid he haunts me now.   
  
Like I said. Fuck.  
  
I purse my lips and stare hard into the depths of the blaze.   
  
“I got nothin’,” I say, because it’s flip and expected and not what I want to say. “Maybe an eagle.”  
  
Daniel rests his head on his knees and peers more closely. “An eagle carrying Ganymedes to heaven,” he says softly.  
  
“One of those myths you love so much?” I ask. I have another name for myths. Several actually, but I refrain from enlightening Daniel in the hope that he’ll talk some more.  
  
“Carried off to be Zeus’s lover, or his cup bearer, depending on which tradition you prefer.”  
  
“She was a looker then, huh?” Always rely on me to lower the tone.  
  
“He. Frequently represented as a beautiful youth. Homer referred to him as ‘the loveliest born of the race of mortals.’”  
  
“Ah.” Of course. Nothing’s as it seems with the Gods.  
  
“He became immortal and exempt from old age,” Daniel adds, head tilting to one side. He sounds ... sad. Lost maybe.  
  
“Good news for his knees, then.”  
  
“Immortality’s over-rated. Why live forever when those you love die?”  
  
The air is suddenly heavy, weighted down with unspoken thoughts and fears. He’s hurting. So damned much.  
  
“We won’t stop looking, Daniel.”  
  
He huffs out another breath, chases the white cloud with eyes that seem unnaturally bright.  
  
“Thank you.” The words are whispered. He nods slightly.  
  
I wish I could carry some of that pain for him. I wish I could spare him the sleepless nights and the pointless self-recrimination because I’ve been there and it’s a dark, lonely place.  
  
Behind us, in the ... village ... if that’s what you can call it, a rising, high-pitched sound fills the air.  
  
In unsion, we turn and look into the gloom.  
  
“What the hell’s that?” The piercing noise is doing nothing for the headache that is beginning to form behind my eyes.  
  
“I have no idea. Mourning, maybe. Healing.” I can feel the cogs whirring in his head. He’s happy to be distracted from the sad place he was in before.  
  
“Wanna go check it out?” I know the answer before I’ve finished asking the question.  
  
“Yeah. Okay.” Daniel hauls himself to his feet and before he’s taken three steps, Teal’c opens his eyes. He doesn’t ask permission, just looks at me in that maddeningly inscrutable way he has and rises gracefully to follow Daniel.

  
I turn back to face the fire, pick up a couple of sticks from the pile I collected earlier and throw them on. The blaze flares and subsides.  
  
It’s colder somehow, without Daniel here. But it’ll be dawn soon. Another day, another dollar.  
  
I search of the fire for Daniel’s Ganymedes and his eagle. But all I see is shapeless blue and orange.  
  
I decide to leave the rumors, lies and fairytales to Daniel. I’ll just get on with making his life a little less dark and lonely.  
  
ends [](http://jdjunkie.dreamwidth.org/tag/jack+and+daniel#span-cuttag_jdjunkie_96504_1)


End file.
